I Ordered A Frappuccino, Where’s My Fucking Frappuccino?

White girls rejoice: Starbucks updated their wondrous and fat-filled Frappuccinos only to add SIX MORE FLAVORS. Will I try them all? Probably. Will I hate myself afterward? Definitely.

Introducing the new ladies now a part of the notorious gang at Starbucks: Red Velvet Cake, Cotton Candy, Cinnamon Roll, Lemon Bar, Caramel Cocoa Cluster, Cupcake. Be still, my heart.

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Which ones are you going to drink until you puke? Why is there cotton candy in my coffee? Why do calories exist? The world may never know. But if you do, please leave me a comment.

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