HEYWHATSUPHELLO. It’s been a hot minute.
These past few months have somehow been crazy yet bleakly normal, so excuse my lack of blogging. Do you even care? Are you even reading this?
I finally moved in with my boyfriend over the summer and I’ve been inspired lately to bring back the blog. So to start, let’s do a list! Lists are my favorite. Let’s discuss the pros and inevitable cons of living with your significant other.
- Built in best friend. ALL THE TIME. There’s never a dull moment because it’s a constant adventure into new things, even if it’s just cooking pasta for dinner.
- Speaking of food, you have the option to be a disgusting pig and spend all of your grocery money on beer, wine and Doritos. Adulting is hard, give us a break.
- You won’t need a snuggie any longer. Ah, yes, the weather’s getting colder, but I’ve been ignoring my blankets a bit. Why wrap up in a fuzzy throw when you can just force your boyfriend’s arm around you and snuggle up into his hopefully clean armpit area?
- No more judgement about your consumption of alcohol. Bad day? Wine. Good day? Wine!
- Unplanned dance parties. We’ve only had a couple of these (and once it was just me alone), but nothing beats white-girl twerking on your boyfriend in the kitchen to hits from the 00’s.
- Big tee shirts and sweatshirts. No explanation needed on that one.
- Pooping. Let’s just get this one out of the way. It’s one thing to let your man know you’ve got to drop the kids off at the pool, but it’s a whole other level to grab your iced coffee, nail file and laptop as you run with clenched butt cheeks into the bathroom. Save that for when you’re home alone, you sick bitch.
- Sleeping. Hear me out… I’m a full on blanket hog and I fully admit it, but there is absolutely nothing worse when my boyfriend inevitable steals my blankets from me during the night and I’m left with the very corner to cover my entire body. Also, it’d be pretty great if snoring didn’t exist.
- You have to cook for yourself. Every. Single. Night. Oh, just work a long 10 hour shift? How terrible. Now, get your ass in the kitchen, woman! My boyfriend and I take turns making dinner every other night, so there’s that. But I’ll forever miss coming home from a long day and asking my mom “what’s for dinner?” before pouring myself a bowl of cereal.
- Cleaning. Like, why are there ever pubes in the bathroom sink?
So that’s that. If there’s any update in the near future about the pooping sitch, I’ll drop you a